Meet Fate and Destiny everyone
by Richi and Tainechi
Summary: Neji is psycho, Sasuke has finally lost what left of his sanity, Hinata is not shy, everyone else is clueless, and is that the Akatsuki and Sound? Lots of cursing, and Yaoi, and randomness


**Richi: Yo people.**

**Tai: The long awaited first chapter! took ya long enough.**

**Richi: (grumbles)**

**Warnings: Richi spotes off random yaoi related information, couples, and anything to do with yaoi. Tai curses...alot, she has a wack sence of humor, not as bad as Richi though, and she's a perv. Extreme OOCness on everyones part, randome plot line, interupptions of plot lin, ect. You have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto.**

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Richi and Tainechi were sitting on the top bunk their bed watching Naruto.

"What the fuck!" Tai shouted.

"What?" Richi asked looking away from the screen.

"You ate the last fukin' pocky stick!" Tai exclaimed, pointing to the empty pocky box. Richi smirked.

"It was yummy to, Tainechi."

"I'll give you five fuckin' minutes." Tai hissed. Richi eyes widened.

"Uh...Bye!" Richi ran out the door, Tai quickly following.

'Minutes, seconds, you know how fuckin' bad I am at math Richi!' Tai thought. Once outside Tai slamed into her sister's back.

"I'm going to fuckin' kill you fatass!" Tai screeched.

"Shut up and look around moron." Richi dead panned. Tai looked around.

"Oh my fuckin' god! We're in Konoha!" Tai exclaimed. Richi sweat dropped.

"You just noticed moron?" Richi asked.

"Fuck yeah!" Tai said throwing her arms in the air. Richi stared.

"Fuck yeah what?" Richi asked.

"Fuck yeah! We're in fuckin' Konoha, fucker!" Tai exclaimed

"...You sound like our brother." Richi said.

"We have a brother?" Tai asked.

"Yes, the little five year old midget that lives with us, that we feed every one in awhile." Richi told her.

"Oh him, I thought he died." Tai said smiling like the idiot she is. Richi sweat droped.

"Moron."

"Did you fuckin' shrink?" Tai asked.

"...Our voices are high."

"Oh fuck!" they both screamed.

"Who are you?" They both turned to look at who had spoken.

"Holy fuck! It's Neji-jiji, fucker!" Tai yelled.

"Neji-jiji? Sweet son of a bastard! Alright!" Richi cheered.

Neji was confused. Two young girls knew his name and they had unbelievably bad language.

"Who are you?" he asked again. Tai and Richi looked at each other.

"..."

"We're Fate and Destiny!" Richi looked at her sister like she was insane...insaner...

"What the hell are you thinking dumbass?" Richi whispered harshly.

"I have no clue." Tai whispered back.

"Prove that you're Fate and Destiny." Neji said. Tai and Richi stared.

"He's a genius?" Richi asked Tai.

"...They lied." Tai answered.

"Well?" Neji asked, completely oblivious to the conversation going on in front of him.

"I declire that you are fated to kiss the ground!" Tai said. Neji blinked before he fell to the ground face first.

"...Dude...What the fuck..." Richi said.

"This is fuckin' awsome!" Tai exclaimed. They didn't notice that Neji had gotten back up. And they still failed to notice when he somehow managed to get behind them.

"You really are Fate and Destiny!" Neji said, taking both girls in his arms and hugging them.

"What the! Let us go!" the two girl yelled. Neji dropped them, and they turned to look at him...and nearly fainted. Why you ask? Because Neji was smiling, the Hyuga Neji was smiling!

"Holy hell! Hyuga's smiling! Tai it's the apocalypse!" Richi exclaimed.

"But, we were supposed to end the world!" Tai whined. Richi stared at her.

"No more caffine for you." she dead paned. Tai pointed an accusing finger at her.

"You wrote it in you journal! I saw, you dumbass!" she exclaimed.

"Exactly. _I _will destroy the world, after _I _become dictator." Richi said calmly. Before Tai could respond, Neji had grabed them both and was dragging them away.

"Now I can finally show everyone that fate and destiny are real!" Neji muttered excitedly, sounding slightly demonic..

"...Tai, was it just me, or did he sound possesed?" Richi asked blankly.

"The second one..." Tai answered.

15 minutes later...

Neji burst into Ichiraku's with a giant smile on his face, still dragging Richi and Tai behind him. All the Konaha nin and the Sand Sibs were there, we have no clue why.

"Everyone! I have good news!" Everyone turned and stared at him blankly. "I have found Fate and Destiny!" He hold up Richi and Tai by the backs of their shirt. Everyone stared at them. That stared back.

Staring.

More staring.

Even more staring.

Annoying staring.

More annoying staring.

Even more annoying staring.

"Oh my fuckin' god! It's Sasuke!" Tai exclaimed.

"Screw Sasuke! It's Shino!" Richi exclaimed.

"Kiba! Naruto!" they both said.

"Kakashi!" Tai exclaimed.

"Hot version of Kankuro!" Richi said.

"GAARA!" they both _screamed_ this time.

"Neji, where the hell did you find these two?" Tenten asked.

"...In the training grounds." Neji answered.

"How do you know if they're Fate and Destiny, Hyuuga?" Sasuke asked. As soon as the sentence left his mouth, he locked lips with Naruto.

"WTF?" Everyone except Richi and Tai yelled.

"I didn't say anything. Richi?" Tai asked. Richi just kinda of blinked. "...Richi, you're nose is bleeding." Tai pointed out. Richi reached up and held the bridge of her nose, still staring ahead, drooling slightly. "Richi what are..you...Holy shit! WTF?" When Tai turned around, she saw Gaara making out with Naruto instead of Sasuke.

"So hot." Richi mumbled.

"Ri! What the hell is going through your head! Stop thinking! I know it's you doing this!" Tai screeched, holding the bridge of her nose also. Gaara and Naruto broke apart and jumped away from each other, both blushing...Wait...

"Gaara's blushing!" Kankuro yelled, earning a glare from Gaara.

"Shut up, Kankuro." Gaara said in his usual cold tone.

Everyone was oblivious to this conversation however. The guys were still shocked and the girls were trying to control extreme nose bleeds.

"Richi, I know you have something to do with this you yaoi obsessed freak!" Tai yelled, failing with the bleeding problem.

"I didn't mean to! I was being sarcastic! I just thought, 'Since Neji was fated to kiss the dirt, Sasuke's destined to kiss Naruto.' and when I saw it I thought, 'What's next, Gaara destined to make out with Naru-chan?'. I didn't mean for it to happen!...And you like yaoi too." Richi said, wiping blood from her nose. They turned when they felt eyes on them.

"They really are Fate and Destiny..." Everyone said. The girl all jumped up and rushed to Neji.

"Neji let us have them! They're so cute!" Ino yelled.

"Yeah, let us have them!" Tenten agreed. All the girls had a similar request.

"No, they're my precious. Mine!" Neji hissed, holding the girls to his chest. Tenten grabed both girls and Neji screeched.

"Get over it, Hyuuga." Ino dead panned. She turned to Tai and Richi. "Hey there! Aren't you two adorable!"

"They're twins! How cute!" Sakura said.

"And they're dressed alike too! Oh! What pretty green eyes!" Temari said.

"They're precious." Hinata said.

"I agree with Hinata! And they're so tiny!" Tenten said. Neji was bawling in the back ground.

"Tai, make them let us go. Now." Richi growled.

"You are fated to put us on the ground." Tai said. Tenten set them down and blinked.

"...What just happened...?"

"I told you they were Fate and Destiny! It's proof! Proof I say!" Neji yelled.

"...Neji go take your meds." Tenten said bluntly.

"But Tenten," Neji whined.

"Now mister." Tenten grabed him by the ear and pulled him out of Ichiraku's.

"..." Everyone was silent.

"Right...So you two are Fate and Destiny?" Sakura asked.

"Apparently." Richi answered.

"So does that mean you know who likes who?" Ino asked.

"Yes, in fact this-" Tai was interuppted by Richi.

"Sasuke is in love with Naruto and secretly Sakura, Sakura is in love with Sasuke and Gaara, but Gaara is in love with Neji. Neji is angry at Sakura because he like Gaara as well but also likes Tenten. Unknown to Neji, Gaara also likes Sakura but you have to look really hard to see. Hinata is upset at Sasuke for stealing Naruto, because Naruto is in love with him and Hinata, but Hinata wants all his attention. But Naruto also has a crush on Gaara, but is afraid Sasuke wil get up set so he ignores it. Kiba goes with Ino no matter what unless Ino dumps him. Hinata goes with Shino until Ino dumps Kiba, so Hinata dumps Shino for Kiba to make him feel better, and ends up falling madly in love with him. Temari is in love with Sasuke, Neji and Shikamaru. But Sasuke and Neji don't like her, so she goes with Shika and they live happily ever after. Kankuro hooks up with the raman server chick. Choji is too busy eating to care."

Everyone stared.

"What?" Richi asked. Tai blinked.

"Run that by me again." Tai said. Richi face faulted.

"Sakura goes with Sasuke, Neji with Tenten, Naruto and Hinata, Kiba Ino, Temari and Shikamaru... I'm out of girls. I liked the web better anyway."

"You understood that web thing?" Tai asked.

"Of course I did." richi answered. Everyone was silent.

"Well, I think we can all agree they're staying." Sakura said.

"What?"

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**Richi: And that was the first chapter.**

**Tai: Tune in next time to see what happens.**

**Both: Until then R&R!**


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